


Oniisan Channel

by Chiharu



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Anime), IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Shirai Parody, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:28:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28509687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiharu/pseuds/Chiharu
Summary: Yamato starts a personal RabbiTube channel. Chaos ensues.Featuring horror game playthroughs, make up transformations, a surprising collab with Amemura Ramuda, and more!
Comments: 7
Kudos: 44





	Oniisan Channel

By the time everyone goes into lockdown, Yamato has already received the news that filming will be halted on all of his ongoing projects. Even IDOLiSH7’s upcoming trip to Northmare is delayed indefinitely, leaving the dorm filled with anxious energy with no real outlet. In the beginning, Yamato tries to participate in the group bonding activities in the dorm. Yet, there’s only so much excitement his old man soul can take. His only reprieve is nightly drinking sessions with Mitsuki, who only ever drinks a little before lecturing Yamato on developing alcoholic tendencies. Then, Yamato gets the brilliant idea to invite Sougo, which is one of his biggest mistakes this year. 

His worst idea, however, doesn’t present itself until the next day when Tsumugi appears in the dorm. “Yamato-san! I had the legal department draft up the papers you requested!”

Yamato is busy downing an energy drink in the hopes of combating his hangover. The kitchen is relatively empty, the only other occupants being Mitsuki fiddling over the stove top while Tamaki consumes his breakfast of five (5) Osama Puddings. “Huh?” He asks eloquently.

“I’ve brought the amendment to your contract that you asked for last night,” Tsumugi replies brightly. “You were so excited over the phone that I went into the office first thing this morning to expedite your request. It’s so exciting! Even the President is looking forward to this project!”

“Hold up… What exactly are you talking about?”

“Your request to start a personal RabbiTube channel has been approved, Yamato-san!”

Yamato puts his face in both hands. His palms feel cool but his head is still pounding. The frame of his glasses dig uncomfortably into his face—but that’s almost a second thought compared to the questions running through his head. What channel? What request? What in the world happened last night? The last thing he remembers is Sougo pouring sake for him. Then, blissful nothingness. “Start from the beginning, _please_.”

“Yama-san, you went from room to room last night with Sou-chan and declared you were gonna become a RabbiTuber.” Tamaki says with a spoon in his mouth, eyes fixed on his phone screen. “You even burst into Nagicchi’s room during his MagiCona marathon and wouldn’t leave until he promised to subscribe to your channel.”

“Yes! You were so enthusiastic over the phone. Apparently Sougo-san even drafted a list of video topics for you?” Tsumugi adds, her hands balled up in excited little fists. 

Yamato wants to give his past self a fist to the face. He looks to Mitsuki for confirmation, but Mitsuki merely rolls his eyes and sets a bowl in front of him. 

“Here, Ochazuke for your hangover.” 

“Mitsu, you’re an angel!”

Mitsuki gives him a dirty look. Well, as dirty as anyone with an angelic face could possibly make. “You should’ve listened to your _angel_ last night. Make sure to eat everything so you can read over the contract on a full stomach. You better not cause even more problems for Manager—not after she went through the trouble of fulfilling your request first thing in the morning.”

“I take it all back,” Yamato tells his bowl. “I’m definitely not starting a RabbiTube channel. What would I even make videos about? I’m just a simple old man.”

Even Tamaki looks unimpressed by this. “Huh? But you already blew up SNS last night with your announcement. Mista Shimooka even replied to you.”

“I’m screwed,” Yamato declares.

“Eat your food,” Mitsuki says.

**IDOLiSH7 Official Ogami Banri ✓ @iD7Mng_Ogami**  
【Official Announcement】IDOLiSH7 member Nikaido Yamato’s new RabbiTube channel is confirmed! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdrKW91dH2sN60Huk8pBMqg Please Follow @i7_NikaidoY for more information

**Momorin ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶ ✓ @REVALE_Momo  
Replying to @iD7Mng_Ogami @i7_NikaidoY **  
!! Momo-chan is so excited to watch! Even Yuki said he will subscribe! Invite your beloved senpai on your channel! 

**Yukiko @Meganelover21  
Replying to @iD7Mng_Ogami @i7_NikaidoY **  
I can’t wait for award winning actor Nikaido Yamato’s channel debut! World’s number one handsome megane! 

**Emi-chan @TanakaEmi1996  
Replying to @iD7Mng_Ogami @i7_NikaidoY **  
Yamato-san! Please do a collaboration with @EasyR! 

**Musahi’s Mother @2934akbf  
Replying to @iD7Mng_Ogami @i7_NikaidoY **  
(laughs) It’s time!! 

**Gin @pockygin  
Replying to @iD7Mng_Ogami @i7_NikaidoY **  
I hope we can see other IDOLiSH7 members guesting on Yamato-san’s channel! That would be so exciting! I wonder what kind of videos Yamato-san will upload! I shall anticipate!

**Nikaido Yamato (□_□) ✓ @i7_NikaidoY  
Replying to @iD7Mng_Ogami @REVALE_Momo**  
Can I live???

Yamato’s first video recording attempt goes disastrously. The angle is off, the lighting is too dim, and he curses too many times on camera. He tries to show the unedited product to Tsumugi in a last ditch effort to deter her but their ever so diligent manager just replies with, “Leave it to me!” 

The next day, professional lighting equipment is transported from the agency to their dorm. Tsumugi and Banri set up an empty room on the third floor as Yamato’s designated filming space. For whatever reason, Nagi decides to part with some of the merch in his room and donate it as decoration. Yamato has to interfere before the room turns into a kindergarten classroom-slash-magical-girl shrine. Also present are various unassembled pieces of furniture that were cluttering up the agency office. Tsumugi disappears in search of tools and returns with Sougo holding a power drill. They spend the afternoon building furniture while Sougo plays one of his uncle’s CDs in the background. 

“Yamato-san, I’ve been thinking,” Sougo says after they’ve pushed the bookshelf up and decorated it with inconspicuous items. While Tsumugi is covering up all the brand names with rabbit patterned tape, Sougo turns to Yamato. “It’s partially my fault for encouraging you to start this channel. If it’s not too presumptuous of me, I’d like to take responsibility by helping with your channel content!” 

Yamato pauses from hanging up a clock. “How so?”

“Well, Manager showed me your first unpublished video. I thought maybe I could provide assistance by suggesting topics for your channel. I already made a list while… slightly inebriated, but some of the ideas are quite good! I’m no good at managing comments, though…”

As always, their manager is listening with rapt attention. Tsumugi’s eyes light up as she claps her hands together. “Leave that to me and the social media team, Sougo-san! However, Takanashi Productions did provide a list of unsuitable topics that Yamato-san is contractually obligated to avoid in order to maintain IDOLish7’s image! I’m sure your ideas won’t overlap with those!” 

Just the thought makes Yamato laugh. He’s seen the list himself and signed off on it, and he doubts Sougo would suggest anything of the sort. “Sure, you’re hired.”

_Idol Group Leader Makes A RabbiTube???  
Oniisan Channel  
41,984 views  
1 Week Ago  
#NikaidoYamato _

_Nikaido Yamato Makes Everyone’s Favorite Food  
Oniisan Channel  
765,134 views  
18 Hours Ago  
#NikaidoYamato #CookingChallenge #IDOLiSH7_

“Maybe we should have expected this,” Banri says diplomatically when he finishes watching Yamato’s second video.

The very first video on Yamato’s channel had been a simple introduction, filmed with Yamato talking to the camera in a scripted manner. The only interesting part was when Tamaki accidentally walked into the room without knocking and spoke to Yamato offscreen about ordering takeout for dinner. For some reason, Yamato and whoever edited the video had elected to leave that part in, which was fine as long as Tamaki’s face didn’t appear.

The second video, however, is an entirely different story. It starts out with Yamato in the dorm kitchen wearing a “Kiss Oniisan” apron. He explains that today’s video will be a cooking challenge where he tries to make the members’ favorite foods with no help. His attempt at Omurice is fairly good, even though the egg ends up slightly lumpy. Then, a shaky camera follows Yamato to Riku’s room where he surprises the IDOLiSH7 center with food. Riku is pleasant enough, but the camera frame cuts his entire face off and films a headless Riku happily consuming the omurice. For some reason, he’s also wearing a TRIGGER concert tour shirt, which has to be mosaiced in post production. 

Then the video cuts to the kitchen again, where Yamato decides to splatter an industrial bottle of tabasco sauce onto leftover fried rice and hands it off-screen to Sougo. 

Things get truly out of hand when Yamato moves on to making pudding. He turns the burner heat too high which burns the sugar and milk mixture, setting off the fire alarms in the dorm. While someone in a MagiCona hoodie (Nagi) stands partially off screen to fan at the detector, an orange blur (Mitsuki) appears and manandles the pan away from Yamato while lecturing him on the proper cooking procedure. 

The entire video is only 9 minutes long. Yamato stops after the pudding attempt and ends up presenting Tamaki with a box of Osama Pudding instead. The touching scene is somewhat muddled by the fact that Tamaki is wearing a random Tanuki mask to cover his face. 

If Banri had to describe the video in one word, it would be “chaotic.” Yet, it has amassed a large number of views overnight. A cursory glance through the comments confirms that most of the viewers found it deeply entertaining. Momo has even shared it on SNS, so it was truly too late to take down. When Banri asked President Takanashi for his opinion, the man had just said it was “creative” and then asked Banri what he made for lunch. 

So Banri truly has no other option but to share the video on the Official IDOLiSH7 SNS. Then he asks Yamashita-san from the legal department to draft up contracts to allow the other IDOLiSH7 members to appear uncensored on the channel. 

_Night at the Amusement Park!!! Horror Game Playthrough  
Oniisan Channel  
520,223 views  
#NikaidoYamato #YotsubaTamaki #IDOLiSH7 #NightAtTheAmusementPark _

The video opens with a blank gameplay screen. On the bottom corner is a small square where Yamato waves lazily at the camera. “Hello everyone! Welcome back to Oniisan Channel. Today, Oniisan will be playing a highly requested game. Ah… I hear this game is really popular these days. To be quite honest, I don’t really care for this genre, so I’ve invited a special guest to join us.”

The square expands to show Tamaki sitting next to Yamato. “Tadah!! It’s me!!!”

“Tama, introduce yourself.”

“I’m Yotsuba Tamaki from IDOLiSH7! Please take care of me!” Tamaki says toothily. “Don’t worry, Yama-san. I’m great at games. I’ll clear the levels with no problem!”

Yamato pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “We’ll see about that. Anyways, today I’ll be in charge of the gameplay. Oniisan simply just isn’t familiar with these little gadgets, so Tama will have to help me. Please be kind to me.”

The game starts out innocuous enough, with the player arriving at the amusement park. Yamato narrates the backstory while Tamaki hums along, making nods of acknowledgement. “You made plans to meet your friends at the amusement park to see the illuminations, but you arrive late to a strange sight. All the lights are off, your friends are nowhere to be seen, and the gates are open. How creepy~ Shall we get started, Tama?”

The player only has his cell phone flashlight as a guide. His cellphone starts at 50% battery, and there is no signal at all. At the entrance, he finds strange objects like crowbars, abandoned smashed cameras, and what appears to be a friend’s bag. Tamaki keeps mumbling while Yamato decides on which objects to pick up. Just to add ambience, Yamato also dims the lights in the room.

The game gets darker visually the further they venture into the park. Tamaki screeches when Yamato moves the flashlight onto a human figure, which turns out to be a clown statue instead. For someone who insisted he’d help Yamato clear the game, Tamaki grows increasingly more frightened and ends up hiding his face behind Yamato’s shoulder. The slightest in-game jumpscare terrifies Tamaki, and he keeps insisting they go home.

“Tama,” Yamato says, looking completely unfazed. “Just imagine what you’d do if your friends went missing. Imagine if Ichi or Riku or Sou-”

“SOU-CHAN IS SCARIER THAN THE CLOWN! He can take care of himself and Rikkun and Iorin! That’s why WE should go back-”

Yamato continues opening another door in-game, undeterred. They’re now in an unlocked storage room for one of the rides. There is a red shirt on the floor. “Oh, look, there’s Riku’s shirt. Don’t you want to go look for him?”

“We have to save Rikkun!” Tamaki declares. 

“Atta Boy. Here, you can have the controller. You’re the driver’s seat now.”

Unfortunately, they don’t see hide nor hair of the player’s friends. A ghostly figure appears in the corner of the screen while they’re exploring the carousel, but otherwise the video is just filled with eerie music and Yamato’s dry comments. They’re in an abandoned office, ready to view the security footage, when the sound of footsteps grow louder. Yamato is busy assuring Tamaki that the game can’t hurt them when the door to the filming room opens, and Tamaki goes tumbling out of his chair with a screech.

“Ahh!!!” Tamaki yells.

“AHHH!!” The intruder screams in response.

This goes on for ten seconds before Yamato turns the lights on to reveal Riku standing at the door, clenching his chest in surprise. “Are-are you alright? I heard Tamaki call my name so I came to check.”

“RIKKUN! YOU’RE OKAY!” Tamaki throws himself at Riku tearfully. He starts blabbering about how Riku had been taken hostage by a clown while Yamato picks up the controller Tamaki had flung into the air. The video ends then. Yamato’s Osama Pudding character explains that they could not continue the game with a broken controller. 

The comments section goes wild.

_Creative Ways to Decorate Your Roomba  
Oniisan Channel  
90,214 views  
#NikaidoYamato #DIY_

“Hello everyone! Welcome back to Oniisan Channel. As you know, Musashi is my trusty pet and companion. Over the years, I’ve collected various accessories and trinkets for him. Today, Musahi will try all of them on-”

(Fast Forward x2 >>)

“Has anyone seen the duster? Wait, why is Musahi wearing it as a beard?!”

(Fast Forward x3 >>)

“Tamaki-kun, what did you tape on top of the roomba? What does it have there?”

“A knife!”

“NO!”

_A Fan Visits my Usamimi Crossing New Horizons Island!  
Oniisan Channel  
376,294 views  
#NikaidoYamato #UCNH _

“Hello everyone! Welcome back to Oniisan Channel. So. I, too, have been playing Usamimi New Horizons.”

The video shows Yamato’s avatar in the island post office. Usamimi Yamato is wearing green glasses, a hawaiian shirt, and plaid pants. Upon closer reflection, it’s obvious that Usamimi Yamato’s outfit matches real Yamato’s. Real Yamato even seems to be using a green screen to change his background to a pixelated moving beach scene. 

Real Yamato pushes his glasses up. “Oniisan doesn’t like to brag, but I’m pretty proud of my progress. Thus, I have decided to invite a mysterious guest to visit my Usamimi island! This guest is very shy and has asked to stay anonymous.” Usamimi Yamato runs around in a circle a few times before a new avatar appears on screen. The visitor is wearing rabbit ears and a blue sundress. “Everyone, please welcome Ichiban-chan~”

On screen, Usamimi Yamato has brandished a shovel and is hitting Ichiban-chan with it. 

“Excuse me…” A suspiciously familiar voice joins in. “Nikaido-san, please refrain from attacking my avatar.”

Real Yamato startings clapping. “Welcome, Ichiban-chan!”

Ichiban-chan’s avatar drops an item on the ground. “Thank you for extending an invitation to me. I’ve brought you a house warming gift. Please use it if you’d like.”

Usamimi Yamato opens the package to find a stove top range. “Thanks! This will go great in my outdoors camp site.”

“I hardly think a stationary stove top and oven set belongs outdoors, Nikaido-san.” Yet, Ichiban-chan’s objection is ignored as Usamimi Yamato runs away, beckoning him to follow. Both avatars pass by an empty plaza with custom-made green tiles before arriving at the beach front, where Usamimi Yamato has set up cauldrons and bonfires and hammocks. “What exactly is this?”

Real Yamato takes a break from drinking his labeless cola. “It’s GLAMPing, you know? For sophisticated older folks like me.”

An awkward cough follows. “May I please visit your house?”

“Of course!” Usamimi Yamato leads Ichiban-chan into the house. “Make yourself at home!”

The ensuing silence is poignant as Ichiban-chan walks around, examining the room. Random objects are strewn across the floor, creating a maze. A vacuum sits next to a pinball machine, near a wall where more than a dozen green-colored outfits are hanging next to a stray security camera. Ichiban-chan pauses next to a bag. “Isn’t this a lost item?”

“Oh,” Yamato shrugs. “It appears so.”

“Are you… Not planning on returning it to your villager?”

Yamato then devolves into a clearly improvised excuse about waiting for said villager to visit him. Ichiban-chan doesn’t seem to believe him at all but makes polite small talk about the home before returning outside. Usamimi Yamato continues his tour dauntlessly. He takes an obviously unimpressed Ichiban-chan around the island to show off his glasses-shaped terraforms, the weed-infested fishing hole, and a collection of mismatched outdoor fossils that Yamato claims is his “chimera in progress.”

They’re at the edge of the island when a blue villager walks by holding a watering can. 

“Oh! Roppu-chan is looking so splendid today in that scarf!” Ichiban-chan says happily. 

“Huh? Oh, I guess so. I can’t wait to kick Roppu-chan off my island lol.” 

“What?! Why?! Roppu-chan is so cute and has such an ammencable personality!”

Yamato pauses, as if thinking the question over. “Well. To be honest, Roppu-chan isn’t green enough for my liking.”

A beat of silence is followed by the sounds of deep breathing as Ichiban-chan tries to keep his displeasure in check. After a minute, he says, “My apologies, I must take my leave now before I say something regrettable on camera. Good night, Nikaido-san.”

The video cuts suddenly, then refocuses on just Yamato. “I supposed Ichiban-chan got too shy. He really begged and begged for an invitation to my island, you know! Rumor has it that Ichiban-chan is a really big fan of mine, so Oniisan can’t blame him for being overwhelmed. This is the end of the video. Until next time!”

_I Voice Over My Girlfriend’s GRWM  
Oniisan Channel  
872,123 views  
#NikaidoYamato #GRWM #AmemuraRamuda_

“Hello everyone! Welcome back to Oniisan Channel. Well, the title is an obvious lie. I do not have a girlfriend. Let me state for the record again that I, Nikaido Yamato, do not have a girlfriend. In fact, I’m sure my manager will request a title change sooner rather than later. If you’ve clicked on this video with the original title, please give Oniisan a like and subscribe.”

Yamato gives the camera thumbs up. 

“Today, we have a special collaboration with the talented fashion designer, make-up artist, and RabbiTuber Amemura Ramuda-san! To be honest, Oniisan was quite surprised when Amemura-san reached out to me. People are always telling me that we sound alike, but I don’t really hear it lol? Today I’ll be dubbing over Amemura-san’s Get Ready With Me Video. You know how this goes, right? Without further ado, let’s get started!”

The screen changes from Yamato to a prerecorded video of Ramuda. He’s waving to the camera, barefaced, while a pastel hair band holds his bangs back. Yamato’s own video is once again minimized into a corner.

Yamato cleans his throat. “Okay, here we go. Yoohoo~ Mina genki?! Have you eaten? Have you checked your horoscope? Have you-” He snorts. “Okay, focus. Today I’m showing my daily makeup look for summer! It’s so nice out~ If you go on any outings or dates, you should definitely try this look. Slacking off on your appearance is Meh! Dayo~”

On screen, Ramuda is picking up a bottle and showing the camera.

“First! We must apply moisturizer! Having plump and moisturized skin is important~ Now I’m adding sunscreen- Being sunburned is a no no! I’m taking this cushion and going puff puff puff. Speaking of puffs, have you checked out my new summer Ramuda x PUFFY collection? Ok now to apply foundation. We want our skin to look dewy and soft and innocent, so no one will suspect you when your boyfriend of three years goes missing and you charm the newbie police detective who comes to question you~ Oh? Perhaps you know what I’m talking about? Perhaps you are also watching Nikaido Yamato-san’s new murder mystery drama, airing on TV Tokyo at 10:30 PM weeknights?”

Ramuda has moved on to eye make up. He’s holding up a cute palette and dabbing a brush into the topmost color.

“They say eyes are the windows to your soul~ So we want to make our eyes sparkle~ First, take a reddish brown color from your eyeshadow collection and apply a layer over your eyelids. Then blend blend blend. Now apply a gold color over the center and blend again - Holy [BEEP]?? WHAT THE-”

On camera, a large shape has slowly meandered into the room through the open door. Ramuda notices it and goes to pick up the giant possum. He holds it in his arms like a baby. The possum is wearing a blue collar.

In the bottom corner of the screen, Yamato has both hands framed around his hairline as his mouth opens in disbelief. Eventually, he grabs his phone to look up something while Ramuda continues to talk mutely on video.

“Okay, okay,” Yamato’s unnaturally high voice returns. “How lucky~ My beloved Daisu has woken up from his nap! Daisu is a very special boy that I found grazing through the trash. Sometimes we just need to open our hearts up and provide homes for lost animals, right? Right? Rodents are just little dudes who are your friends~ Anyways let’s say goodbye to Daisu so we can continue!”

The possum is lowered onto his own cushion nearby. It looks completely unaware of its surroundings while Ramuda turns back to the camera and brandishes a new item.

“Moving on to eyeliner! I’m using the MAQ x RAMUDA collection in 03! It’s a dark brown? Pink? Pinkish brown color. Make sure your eyeliner is sharp enough to kill a man~ Or a woman~ Or whoever your love rival is! Don’t discriminate! Next, apply mascara! Make sure not to poke yourself in the eye with the applicator. Unless you want to use your makeup items as a weapon, like the heroine did in last year’s hit movie TIME SPY, starring Nikaido Yamato-san. Don’t you think he’s talented?”

Ramuda grabs a tube and begins applying a lip color. 

“Lastly, we are adding lipstick? Lip gloss? This peach lip product adds a healthy tint. Then take this… tube of clear liquid to add a little shine, like you’ve just finished eating a juicy piece of pork. Delicious and sexy~! Now we can move on to our hair and outfit. Today I’ve picked a refreshing seifuku-esq top that radiates youth and charisma! Let’s also add some cute hair clips to finish off the look!” The comments stop during the 2 minute finished-look montage, where Ramuda winks at the camera at different angles to show off the details.

The clip ends, and Yamato’s screen is enlarged once again. He looks visibly relieved and takes a huge gulp from an unlabeled bottle of cola. “There you have it. This was definitely more challenging than I expected. Onissan simply doesn’t have what it takes to keep up with the aesthetic of youth. How did you like it? Please head over to Amemura-san’s channel to check out his video too. Until then,” he pauses to pitch his voice one last time. “Bai bai~!”

**Fling Possum ✓ @EasyR**  
【New Video!】Ramuda-chan covers @i7_NikaidoY ‘s solo “Love Two You.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOM5A-d7LLo

**Fling Possum ✓ @EasyR**  
Ya ya yah! Minna! Did you also check out @i7_NikaidoY ‘s video dubbing over my summer look? Did you enjoy our collaboration? Did you like the glimpse of Daisu~? Yamato-kun did such a good job! But!!! But!!! Does he know Ramuda-chan is actually older than him? ლ(●ↀωↀ●)ლ

**Nikaido Yamato (□_□) ✓ @i7_NikaidoY  
Replying to @EasyR**  
(⊙_⊙)

**Nanase Riku ✓ @i7_NanaseR  
Replying to @i7_NikaidoY @EasyR**  
Amemura-san!! I loved your collaboration videos with Yamato-san! What kind of dog is Daisu?

**Nikaido Yamato (□_□) ✓ @i7_NikaidoY  
Replying to @EasyR @i7_NanaseR**  
Σ(□_□)  
**Fling Possum ✓ @EasyR  
Replying to @i7_Nikaido @i7_NanaseR**  
Daisu is not a dog. Daisu is a little boy~! (◡ ‿ ◡ ✿)

_IDOLiSH7 MagiCona Transformation!  
Oniisan Channel  
672,394 views  
#NikaidoYamato #IDOLiSH7 #MagiCona #RokuyaNagi_

The video begins with a title page containing MagiCona fanart, then transitions to Nagi sitting in front of wall to wall shelves filled with magic girl merch. Nagi seems to be clad in an official MagiCona cosplay that matches one of the figures in the background. 

“ _HELLO_ everyone! Welcome back to Oniisan Channel! Today’s special guest is none other than _ME_ ~ The handsome and charming prince of IDOLiSH7! Yes, it is I, Rokuya Nagi! You may be wondering why I’m here. I must confess I have been an integral part of Oniisan channel and have been Yamato’s video editor since the beginning! Graphic design is my _PASSION_!” 

Nagi flips his hair as animated sparkles appear on screen. “Today, Yamato has invited myself and another guest to star in a very _SPECIAL_ segment. Oh, I hear them now!”

The door opens off screen.

“What? What’s special that you had to blindfold me?”

“Be patient, Mitsu. We’re here!” Yamato pushes Mitsuki into a chair next to Nagi, then gives the viewers a knowing smirk. Next to him, Nagi has procured a highly detailed replica of Cocona’s dress. Yamato unties the blindfold (an osama pudding handkerchief) and waits for Mitsuki to react.

Mitsuki pauses to take in his surroundings. He opens his mouth, closes it, then shoots out of the frame. The video cuts abruptly. 

(Fast Forward x2 >>)

“Maa… I should’ve probably expected this.” Yamato rubs idly at his shoulder. “Mitsu is really too fast and spritely for an old man like me to catch.”

“Oh, _DON’T WORRY!_.” Nagi nods sympathetically, giving Yamato a shoulder massage that doesn’t look very comfortable. “I came prepared, so we can easily change the content of today’s video.”

Yamato raises an eyebrow. “I don’t follow…”

Nagi turns to look directly at the camera. “Everyone! Change of plans! We will now transform Yamato himself into Cocona!”

**Momorin ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶ ✓ @REVALE_Momo  
Replying to @i7_NikaidoY @i7_RokuyaN **  
Wahh! Who knew Yamato could look so delicate? As expected of award winning actor Nikaido Yamato! Nagi did such a good job on the wig and makeup too!

**Yuki ✓ @REVALE_Yuki  
Replying to @i7_NikaidoY @i7_RokuyaN @REVALE_Momo **  
It’s unfortunate the Cocona dress didn’t fit Yamato-kun. However, the villain transformation was very impressive too. As expected of award winning actor Nikaido Yamato-kun.

**Rokuya Nagi ✓ @i7_RokuyaN  
Replying to @i7_NikaidoY @REVALE_Momo @REVALE_Yuki **  
Thank you Mister Momo and Mister Yuki! My MagiCona collection welcomes visits from people with discerning taste like you! Of course, the end result is thanks to Yamato as well! As expected of award winning actor Nikaido Yamato! 

**Nikaido Yamato (□_□) ✓ @i7_NikaidoY**  
Award Winning Actor Nikaido Yamato is logging off

“I’m starting to think starting this RabbiTube channel was a bad idea,” Yamato says to Gaku. Ever since the inception of Oniisan Channel, Mitsuki has sworn off their nightly drinking sessions. After the Cocona video, Mitsuki has even taken to threatening Yamato with random cooking utensils whenever Yamato comes too close. Now he’s left with only Gaku, who is equal parts unhelpful and unsympathetic over video chat.

Gaku opens another can of Sapporo Dry. “It always was a bad idea. But more importantly, why haven’t you invited me on?”

“Sou actually suggested we invite other talents onto the channel, but Anesagi-san specially told Manager that under no condition would she allow TRIGGER to join in my ‘foolishness.’ Besides, what video would we even make?”

“And here I thought you were more creative than that.”

Next to Yamato, Musahi whirls around diligently on his nightly cleaning sessions. “You don’t know the half of it.”

**Rejected TRIGGER x Oniisan Channel collaboration ideas**  
\- #1 Man I want to Embrace: Yaotome Gaku hugs every member of IDOLiSH7. What happens next will surprise you!  
\- Kujou Tenn answers Oniisan’s questions while eating a whole cake  
\- Ero Ero Beast Push-up Challenge with Kinako  
\- Soba or Playdough? Realistic Looking Food Playdough taste test ft. Yaotome Gaku  
\- TRIGGER v IDOLiSH7 rap battle 

“Yes, thank you very much!” Tsumugi hangs up her landline at the office before swinging around in her chair. “Good news, Ogami-san! MKV Studios has confirmed that filming will resume on their ongoing projects. Yamato-san’s schedule is sure to pick up again. I should alert him of the news!”

Banri taps his pen thoughtfully to his chin. “Do you think Yamato will stop working on his channel now?”

This makes Tsumugi pause. “It’s true that his original proposal was to work on his RabbiTube channel until his regular schedule resumes… But I suspect he doesn’t remember anything from our conversation. Should we tell him?”

“Oh, absolutely not,” President Takanashi cuts in, appearing out of nowhere with Kinako in his arms. “Yamato-kun’s channel has been incredibly popular so far and receives even more attention than our regular _Kimi to Idolish Night_ episodes. I’d hate for it to end abruptly, wouldn’t you?”

“Myuu~”

In the IDOLiSH7 dorms, Yamato sneezes suddenly. “Huh. Hope no one is cursing Oniisan.”

**Author's Note:**

> Me, looking @ the earth: "wait, you mean there is no plot?"  
> Shirai, standing behind me in an astronaut suit and pointing a balloon gun: "there never has been"
> 
> IF IT'S NOT OBVIOUS BY THIS POINT, this entire fic is just a parody of Shirai's [youtube channel](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdrKW91dH2sN60Huk8pBMqg). Thank you to my beloved [Des](https://twitter.com/OSK_spice) for betaing~


End file.
